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In my post about remote work, I mentioned that there was a period in my life when I used to work, study, freelance, and do an internship full-time all at once. During Covid, too. 

Even though this was easily the most packed period in my life, it certainly wasn’t the only one. 

For years, I was drowning in my obsession with always doing more, knowing more, and being more. I used to work full-time, study, freelance, and take extra courses, all because I was never confident enough in what/who I already was. 

Needless to say, this way of life isn’t sustainable or healthy, and before realising what I was doing wrong, I was bringing myself to regular burnouts and depression episodes. 

I’m happy to report that I am in a much better place now, and while I still have those urges, I have managed to figure out a system of doing heavy quality control on my intrusive thoughts. 

But before I get to this, let’s start with the main reason why I used to do this to myself. 

Nothing I do (am) is ever enough

I had very big dreams when I was younger. I went through wanting to be a bride, a vet, a psychologist, Elektra/Xena (?!?!), a criminologist, a policewoman even (that’s before I saw the physical exam), and a book publisher. As I grew, I settled on just wanting to be creative and get paid for it. 

Things were more or less going to plan when I started my first content writing job at 21. A year later, I was back in university, and thus began my life of multitasking. Remote work made this possible, but that doesn’t mean it was easy. I still had to put in 8 hours of work on top of freelancing, attending classes, and doing homework, projects, and exams. 

I used to stress so much about being perfect that I spent entire nights studying and working overtime just to make sure my productivity didn’t fall one bit. I put a lot on myself, and that made the smallest inconvenience feel like the biggest failure. Every time I was slightly below my targets, or I had a 5 (our grade system works with 2 being the lowest grade and 6 the highest), I would spiral into a depression episode, blaming myself for not giving enough. 

After a while, I fell into another hole. 

I decided that I just don’t have enough hard skills, and this is why I’m not successful. SEO and content writing simply weren’t enough, so I needed to find a way to upskill and make myself even more valuable to potential employers. 

Then began my obsession with courses. To give you an example, here are some of the courses that I started on top of everything else I was doing: 

• Python for beginners 
• HTML and CSS
• Email marketing 
• Social media marketing
• Game development??
• Brand management 
• Storytelling through photography 
• UX writing 
• UX design 
• Data Science/Data Engineering course – I only applied to that one, but didn’t get accepted (thank God for that)
• Graphic design 
• WordPress development 

How many did I finish? Only the brand management one, as it was one of my subjects in university. 

Just like an addict, every time I started one, I would say to myself that this time would be different. I really like the subject, and the course is nice and self-paced, so what’s the issue? 

Well, the issue is always in the “Why?”

I admit it was partially my fault because it’s so easy for me to find imperfections in myself, but a lot of it came from the work industry as a whole. 

You look at an ad for a content writer or a marketing specialist, and it lists the job descriptions of at least 5 more roles, like email marketing, SEO specialist, PPC expert, designer, etc.

This, for example, is from a job ad for a Content Writer:

No wonder everyone feels unqualified. How is this the job description of a content writer? Ideally, almost every point should be a different employee or even department.

On top of that, every time I open LinkedIn, I’m bombarded by “gurus” and people with 10 side hustles on top of their normal jobs. Obviously, there’s no way of knowing how much of that is true, but as a young professional and someone growing into their career, it can be hard to tell these things apart and not feel like a complete failure. 

How to avoid burnout and discover your potential 

I will start off by saying that even though these tricks did help me be more aware of my personal patterns, if you struggle with ADHD or any similar condition, it can be hard to overcome these issues without professional help or medication. 

Impulse buying, burnout, paralysis, etc, are all things that I still have to deal with because there’s no adequate ADHD treatment in Bulgaria, and the ones that do exist don’t take into account masking and how ADHD manifests in women. 

So I had to improvise and, throughout the years, came up with these tricks to help me at least manage my burnouts and hopefully prevent them. It also helps that I have a loving partner and a very candid best friend who bullies the f*ck out of me every time I mention I’m starting something new again. 

Talk to yourself as a friend 

I discovered this little trick in high school when my depression and anxiety episodes started. It’s very simple. Every time that little voice in your head starts saying things like: “You’re not enough” and “You need to do more”, just imagine that your insecurities and worries belong to your best friend. 

Would you say to them that they’re not enough? Or that they need to do more on top of the million things they’re already doing? 

It’s a fact that we’re much kinder to other people than we are to ourselves, and that applies to many different areas. For example, the other day, I had a conversation with my partner about personal branding and how hard it is for me to find my unique qualities and “sell” myself as a professional.

However, if someone asks me about him, I can do a whole lecture about how talented, knowledgeable, empathetic, and overall kickass of a person he is. Talking about myself, though, mission impossible. 

So, in time, I’ve found it very useful to do this mental exercise and transfer all of my insecurities to a different person. Looking from the outside, it’s much easier to see if our worries are reasonable and a decision makes sense. 

Write things down

Whenever you become obsessed with something new, before buying supplies that are bound to gather dust in the corner, just write everything down. Let’s say you found another course that is just too good to pass on. Ask yourself this: 

• What will I gain from doing this? 
• How is this helping my current goals? 
• Am I progressing an existing skill that I need or starting something from scratch? 
• Do I need to invest in order to make this work? Can I afford it? 
• Do I have the time to go through with it and take full advantage? 
• Is it something I’ve wanted to do for a while or an entirely new idea? 

I’ll give you an example. My best friend is an artist (shameless plug), and she recently ordered a new drawing tablet. Knowing that I occasionally dabble in some art myself, she offered to sell her old one to me for a ‘mates’ rate of around $150, and I agreed. 

And while it might look like your average impulse spend on a one-time hobby, the truth is that I’ve been drawing since I could hold a crayon, even though my canvas of choice back then was the living room wall. Besides writing, drawing has been a great outlet for creativity, and despite my career and education taking off in a different direction, it’s always been a part of me. 

So, let’s go back to the questions: 

• What will I gain from doing this? Having a big drawing tablet will make it easier for me to practice and improve my skills. 
• How is this helping my current goals? Since one of my goals is to spend more time doing things that make me happy, regardless of whether I’m good at them or not, having this tablet would help my personal goal. 
• Am I progressing an existing skill that I need or starting something from scratch? I’m progressing with a skill that I’ve been working on for many years, albeit not as seriously as I have with my writing skills. 
• Do I need to invest in order to make this work? Can I afford it? I do need to invest, and I can afford it.
• Do I have the time to go through with it and take full advantage? I can do this during the weekends and when I take days off. It doesn’t have to be super regular, but the more often I do it, the better. 
• Is it something I’ve wanted to do for a while or an entirely new idea? Yes, because it’s been a dream of mine for many years to improve my drawing skills and be able to bring my imagination to life through visual art. 

As you can see, this is much different from the HTML and CSS programming course that I still haven’t finished (and probably never will). I attach these blueberries as proof.

Blueberries aside, I also want to dive a bit into the point about time. You need to be realistic about your schedule capacity. I used to grossly overestimate how much time and energy I could spare for a certain project. Being ambitious and wanting to do more can make it very hard to say no, leading to overworking, packed schedules, and eye bags so big you can take them to Lidl. Especially if that new project or course wasn’t something I actually enjoyed or helped me relax (unlike drawing). 

Take a look at your current assignments for work, freelance, or university, and then add to that what you want to potentially start. If this leaves you with no free time and takes away from your sleep, then the answer should be a resounding no.

Slow down

When we hyper-fixate on something, it can be hard to make rational decisions. That HTML course I mentioned earlier was bought after exactly 5 minutes of thinking, and it cost me around $75. Granted, that’s not that much money, but I’ve spent more than that on even more useless stuff. 

Impulse spending is not a joke. It’s very hard to overcome, particularly during a period of hyperfixation, and it can be very harmful, both financially and in our relationships. It’s not just us making stupid financial decisions; it’s being addicted to the dopamine this spending gives us and the way that it feeds into the current obsession. 

I know how hard it is, so don’t feel guilty if it doesn’t work for you, but still try sleeping it off if you can. Don’t tell yourself, “I won’t buy that”, but rather “Let me do that tomorrow.” 9 out of 10 times for me personally, the desire was gone the morning after. 

Another thing that helps me is sharing my ideas with someone. As I mentioned earlier, my husband and best friend are really good at helping me see the rational side of stuff, and because they know me so well, they know exactly what to ask. Find people like this and don’t go through these periods by yourself. 

You are enough

I am enough. I know that now. But it took a lot of nervous breakdowns, crying, anger, guilt-tripping, and anxiety before I got to this moment. And I would say the minute I stopped being so hard on myself, I started growing personally and professionally. 

For me, it started by realising that bad grades aren’t the end of the world. It’s not that I wouldn’t study hard anymore, but I changed my perspective from “If I’m not 100% perfect, then I’m a failure” to “I’ll do my best, and whatever happens, happens.” Surprise, surprise, my grades didn’t drop one bit. As a matter of fact, I finished my last year in university with top grades in all of my subjects, except my English state exam, where I got a 5, which was very ridiculous. 

So I started giving myself these little allowances—moments of imperfection because I am enough. I also realised that I don’t need to be a jack of all trades. I like writing, nerding out about languages, editing (as weird as it sounds), and helping other people. 

And that’s more than enough. 

Chances are, you probably have things that you love and are good at. Focus on them. Don’t compare yourself to others and never put your health on the line in order to satisfy some cosmic requirements. 

Good luck 🙂